aftermath: nightsecond chapter of a mother's love
by jimmyjane1
Summary: Ofjohn lies in bed and figures out why she gave birth to a shredder; She recalls her past in the second chapter.


A Mother's Love: A Handmaid's Tale Fan Fiction

Aftermath: Night

Where will I go? I ask myself. Will they send me to the Colonies? It's been my seventh A Mother's Love: A Handmaid's Tale Fan Fiction

Aftermath: Night

Where will I go? I ask myself. Will they send me to the Colonies? It's been my seventh assignment. I lie in bed with the window half open. I used to hear crickets playing their nightly symphony but they've put in the plastic to keep me from breaking the glass. The first Handmaid they had the Major's Wife pushed her out that window.

"That was her sister. They hated each other. Just like women," the Major snapped.

I hate the Major. He makes me shudder. His eyes seem to strip me naked. Will he make me a Jezebel? I sit up in bed, my heart quickens at the thought. One Shopping Day ago, OfRichard and I passed by a street sign with a Locust on it. A gnarled old Walnut was on the other side.

OfRichard pointed at the sign pole.

"You go down that street and on your left," she whispered through her white bonnet.

"What's there?" I press myself closer to her.

"Jezebel's" OfRichard's mouth moves through my headdress. "That's where the second Handmaid went. He got what he wanted from her and he gave her away,"

"What's at Jezebel's?"

OfRichard sighed and grabbed my sleeve.

"What planet did you come from, stupid?" she groaned. "How long have you been in this part of Gilead?"

"I come from what used to be called Chicago!" I stammered.

"No wonder you're so out of it!" she sighed, dragging me in a rough U-turn back to the Locust and the Walnut's corner.

"And where else did you come from before that?" she growled, "Mars?"

"England!" I laughed.

She laughed but it had a sarcastic music to it. I watched her headdress shake back and forth.

At Loaves and Fishes on Locust street, the Jezebel entered. She wore a white veil around her face. You could have sworn that she resembled an Econo-wife but for the rain coat wrapped tightly around her body. A few Angels raised their eyebrows and smirks curled on their mouths. They knew what she was under that get up.

"That is a Jezebel!" OfRichard nudged me.

She reeked of something other than Lilies of the Valley. My nose savored it, my nostrils opening wide to take it in. It hinted of exotic flowers like the ones my mother grew in her hothouse on our apartment building's roof. If only I could've remembered those names.

The man behind the counter lifted his chin. The Econowives turned their contemptuous gazes from us to the woman wrapped in the conical white headdress and veil.

"If looks could kill," I laughed to OfRichard.

OfRichard elbowed me. I doubled over.

"Don't do anything!" she whispered. "Just let's get out of here!"

"You could've made me miscarry!" I choked.

"Oh, Right!" she sneered. "I can smell you've got your time of month, sweetie, I know!"

She grabbed my sleeve and led me out the door.

"You might not live long enough to finally make that baby for that weasel if we stay around here too long!" she muttered as we sailed out for the street like a pair of swift sailing red ships with white headdresses.

"That's what happens to bad handmaidens who don't fill their annual baby quota, sweetie,"

"Stop calling me that!" I jerked my arm away from her grasp. "My name's….,"

She tucked her hands into her sleeves.

"Oh, grow up! You're just a walking womb to these people! The CEO and his wife refer to me as OfRichard and you're OftheWeasel. You and me are property. Capiche?"

Screams and shouts erupted from outside of the Loaves and Fishes. I grabbed OfRichard's sleeve.

"What was that?"

"That's what happens to Jezebels who walk out in broad daylight!" she mouthed into my ear.

Everyone stood on the sidewalk, laughing and cheering at the Jezebel. She cowered on the street, covering her head with her torn veil and arms. Econo-wives swarmed around her, kicking and stomping on her with their swirled red, white, and blue clogs. The Loaves and Fishes manager handed them stones to pelt the Jezebel with all the while laughing. She had blonde hair and a pert, little nose.

OfRichard pulled my sleeve.

"That's a visual aid so's you'll think twice about being bad!" she hissed, dragging me along.

"I think I've seen her somewhere before," I said.

Flashing back to the present, my heart pounds and pounds with images of myself with my veil taken off as the same women kick and stone me for dressing like that. I'm sure the Major will send me away for having another shredder. What's wrong with my body? Why does God hate me so much? Is it because I lived in Chicago where the water wasn't so good? I hate myself because of my cursed womb.

Tay Sach's disease? Could I be Jewish? Would they send me to Israel or to the Colonies? If only I could read again, I'd look up the symptoms for birth defects where the child doesn't grow fingers and toes at birth. Was I drinking the wrong kind of water? Did we eat radiated food?

My heart aches as does my body. I can't sleep but stare up to the ceiling.

"Dear God, tell me what I'm doing wrong!" I implore Him.


End file.
